I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
