So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize