She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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