when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
