I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
