I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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