not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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