Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
