I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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