You're my little dorito
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize