Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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