I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
