it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
