i don't like sucking hair
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
