Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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