BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
