he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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