I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
