just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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