When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
