Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
