just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
