...so i touched it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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