ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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