those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
