That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize