wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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