well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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