She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
