Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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