is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
