You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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