Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
