just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
