I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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