I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
