You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
