how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize