Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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