Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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