So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
