Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
