Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
