i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
