I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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