dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
