and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
