Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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