I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
