it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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