Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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