He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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