thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
