He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
