BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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